And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
