WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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