I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
