What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
