6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
