i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
