I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
