Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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