Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
