We're like a lot better than the average bears
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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