Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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