Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
