I seem to have left my pride at pride
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
