Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
