I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
