Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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