He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
