think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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