Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
