Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
