David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
