I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
