the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
