My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
