you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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