i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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