well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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