i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
