I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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