i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
