Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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