Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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