And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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