How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
