My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
