i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
