no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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