im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she pinky promised me she was 18
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
