in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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