talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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