We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
