how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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