id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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