Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
