my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
