she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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