As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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