JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
