Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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