i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
