i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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