I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
