My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
