I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
