guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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