If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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