Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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