he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
